Part 6 of our adoption story. Part 5 is here.
There is a footnote to our story that might interest some potential adoptive parents.
After we had confirmed that we wanted to take James and Lara, we got no less five offers of children from expectant mothers and midwives who had seen our profiles. We couldn’t believe it. It was heartbreaking to tell these girls and women, that “thanks very much” but we’ve already got “dibs” on two lovely kids.
While we have nothing but praise for our social workers we think that Adoption Unit works under a definite handicap. The social workers are not allowed to suggest any course of action to expectant mothers. Adoption may be briefly discussed, but it is certainly not usually discussed as a serious option.
An expectant mother, practically has to demand that her child be adopted before the agency is allowed to steer her in the right direction.
Once there were 4,000 adoptions a year in NZ, now they are measured in the tens. There is little culture of adoption left and from some quarters quite a lot of negative “propaganda” on the subject. Most young women know very little about the adoption option and tend to go to fostering, the DPB or abortion.
Meanwhile there is an infertility “boom” resulting in a huge shortage of babies for adoption.
Our feeling is that with more “marketing” of adoption, some of the 18,000 women and girls who choose abortion every year might decide to adopt their babies out instead. Maybe some organizations might like to mount such a campaign?
Maybe hundreds more Kiwi households could know the joys that children can bring.
Maybe hundreds of young women could know that they have brought great happiness to a childless couple and if they choose, still get a chance to watch their babies grow to adulthood.