Are You a Redneck?

A friend sent me this highly scientific test.

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Redneck?

The answer can be found by posing the following situation and question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question. Does the man look poor? Oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus. We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing!

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Redneck’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click….. (sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click …

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”

Son: “You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?”

Wife: “You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!”