My Best Ever Threat

As Pete Lusk will tell you, “on the edge” political activism often invites anonymous threats. I’ve had a few over the years, but by far the best happened in 1986.

I’d been campaigning for a while against the Soviet use of prison labour to produce goods for export. NZ law forbade the import of prison produced products and I was trying to get the law enforced.

I was was doing some casual/on call work at the time for a friend who owned a factory. He phoned me at about 8pm one night asking if I could come in the next morning. There was no-one else in my house, so only my friend and I knew I would be coming in.

At about 11am, I was called to the office to take a phone message. I answered and was greeted by someone with a Russian accent who said “Good morning Mr Loudon, this is Major Gorkowski(I’m guessing the spelling) of the KGB here“.

I thought it was friend having me on and said “Fuck off T….” The voice didn’t miss a beat. “We understand you have been making some rather anti-Soviet statements lately. You would be advised to stop this unless something rather unfortunate should happen to you. We are watching you as we have been watching you for sometime. Dosvidanya Mr Loudon” Click.

I was a bit blown away by this. The Russian accent was very polished and cultured. I asked my friend if he knew anything about this and he denied all knowledge. I believed him.

Therefore, it was likely that whoever called me had either been tapping my phone or had me under surveillance.

My theories, in order of least likely, to most likely are;

A It was Major Gorkowski of the KGB.

B It was the Security Intelligence Service, trying to scare me off from bumbling around in their territory.

C It was local Communists, most lkely from the Socialist Unity Party, trying to shut me down for their Soviet masters.

Just for interest sake, if any ex KGB, SIS or SUP people out there could enlighten me, I’d much appreciate it.

Anyway, I kept right on at it and I’m stil here to tell the tale.

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81 thoughts on “My Best Ever Threat

  1. Is this satire? Its a bit hard to tell sometimes on this blog when the communist investigations start and finish!

  2. It seems a little bit over the top doesn’t it? I mean, the word McCarthyism springs to mind.

    I appreciate that the activities of these people should be viewed through the prism of its time. Thus, Soviet spies or Communist Sympathisers in the 1970s during the height of the cold war was a lot more relevant than today. Now though, its of limited use to know that a Uni of Canterbury prof once belonged to a group of 8 marxists 20 years ago. It may not even be the least bit relevant to their contemporary lives.

    For example, a former lecturer of mine at the Uni of Auckland was a fighter in the Nicaraguan civil war/conflict, most certainly a progressive/socialist/marxist (but I hasten to add, opposed to the Stalinist Sandinistas). He was without a doubt one of the best lecturers I ever had.

  3. Ah, ‘Loose-cannon Buchanan’, with his tattoo of an Arizona sunset being struck with a bolt of lightning for every armed revolutionary movement he’s participated in… definitely my only university lecturer who you can be fairly sure has killed people. Now our resident terrorism expert. Excellent lecturer.

  4. Perhaps you should have called the Major back, phoned the Lubyanka and asked for him by name. If he was not taking calls, you should have asked for the New Zealand Desk.

    Option D: somebody was having you on. The KGB would not be much of a secret service if its spymasters called you personally and introduced themselves by name.

  5. I’d go with Option D, someone pulling your leg. If not your mate, then someone who either found out or saw you going there.

    Or perhaps Option E: Trevor’s pulling our leg.

    I’m pretty sure that the KGB did not have you tracked by satellite or shadowed to know exactly where you were at 2am Moscow Time and also know the phone number of the location.

  6. Not at all Aaron. I am very interested in the backgrounds of the people who want to run NZ or are running the show. So far all I have seen are people who have spent their lives trying to overthrow democracy as we know it in NZ.

    These people SHOULD be treated as trouble makers.

  7. I was a bit surprised by this thread. I thought many would be disbelieving but I didn’t think people would take it for a leg pull. I don’t expect people to automatically believe me, but I do expect people to accept that I mean what I write.

    The incident happened exactly as recounted, except on reflection I think I said “Piss off T…”, rather than “Fuck off T…”

    I thought I made it very clear that the Socialist Unity Party were my main suspects. Perhaps I was too obscure. Internal SUP documents which I have seen, make it clear they were discussing my activities, in formal meetings, at the time.

    Interviews I have conducted with former SUP members leave me in no doubt that dirty tricks, thuggery and outright criminality were part and parcel of their brand of NZ communism.

    Maybe it was my friend/boss, who tipped someone off that I was there. If he did he gave an academy award winning performance if he was lying when I challenged him. Maybe someone spotted me on the way to work, but it was a 5am start so they would have to have been pretty alert.

    Who made the phone call though, is not the point.

    I write this to clarify that nothing on this Blog is a leg pull, unless I state that it is. I write what I believe to be true. Some of my material makes some pretty harsh judgements on people. I don’t take that lightly. I make sure I’m real sure of my ground before I Blog.

    I don’t claim to be infallible, but I do claim to be committed to the truth as I see it.

    Are we all clear now?

  8. i dont think your pulling our legs i do believe it occured to you however i think it was a hoax, iv had similar tricks played on me (though never that unbelievable)and its only been later on that iv found out

  9. I have a feeling this is either a leg pull or a hoax. Gorkowski is a mostly Polish name (possible East Prussian/eastern German). I’ve studied Russian for several years, and most Russian names don’t end in “sky” or “ski”, but a lot of Polish names do. Theoretically its possible that a Russian in the KGB could be called Gorkowski, after all my Croatian wife has an Indian surname.

    But a google search for “Gorkowski” turns up a number of hits on Polish related websites. I don’t mean to sound churlish, but I don’t think that the Soviets were in the habit of appointing Poles or East Germans into the KGB, who had their own secret services and detested the Soviets as much as the Soviets detested them right back.

  10. Yes Aaron, I am aware that “ski” is usually a Polish suffix, but can also be Russian “Lubarsky” etc. I am only guessing at the spelling. I may have been influenced by the fact that I had a Wellington based “Gorkowski” on my mailing list at the time (I never met this person). There is no doubt someone was “pulling my leg”. The question is who would go to such elaborate lengths. If it was a friend, you’d think they’d have let me in on the joke by now. Usually I don’t worry about people who make threats. It’s the people who actually do things you should be concerned about

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