Veteran summer intern Biff Spackle (on Twitter @BiffSpackle) has an uncanny sense of breaking news.
Seldom has a junior employee at a major, national periodical broken so many important news stories. After all, there’s, well, there are certain to be important scoops we could discover if we ever went back and checked the archives.
Without further ado: we are proud to announce, after seven full years of summer internship, that Biff has been promoted to Junior Associate Clerical Analyst III.
With all that said, here is Spackle’s latest scoop, a secret copy of the Democrat Party’s official magazine. You didn’t get this from us.
Hat tip: BadBlue Uncensored News