Top 5 Rejected Reality TV Shows for Conservatives

By: Doug Ross
Doug Ross @ Journal

Don’t know about you guys, but I’d love to see any one of these.

Survivor: Jihad Edition – Comedian Bob Saget hosts an uproarious glimpse into the life of “martyrs” as 16 budding Jihadists vie to be the sole survivor. Each week, a series of difficult physical and mental challenges weed out a “loser”, who must then perform a suicide bombing mission against soft targets in Hollywood. The season finale promises to be a ratings bonanza as the two finalists, armed only with machetes, fight to the death with the winner receiving $72 cash and Eternal Consciousness.

Big Border – Watch the hilarious hijinx unfold as we fill a 4-bedroom home in El Paso, Texas with 30 randomly selected illegal aliens and then lock the doors. Which ones belong to MS-13 vs. the Mexican Mafia? Which suffer from Ebola or TB? Which are drug- or human-smugglers? And which ones are just “doing it for love”? The last man or woman standing gets a Green Card courtesy of the Obama administration.

Iron Chef: White House – Michelle Obama’s lovingly maintained garden on the south lawn of the White House is the centerpiece of this special edition of Iron Chef. Michelle and her daughters compete to create edible concoctions from the various Luffa-textured vegetables growing in the renowned D.C. soil. The first person to have an entire three-course meal consumed by any of the tasting panel — three homeless individuals plucked from one of the capital’s many “Obamaville” tent cities — wins a complete set of 1959 Cory Flavorseal® Cookware.

Barnacle Tank – Each week, three real life entrepreneurs struggle to start businesses in spite of the obstacles imposed by an oppressive, heavy-handed and ever-growing federal government. The show features a panel of government bureaucrats, dubbed “barnacles”, who raise regulatory objections to each product or service. Panelists include representatives of the EPA, OSHA, the NLRB, HHS, the Commerce Deptartment, the Department of the Interior, and many other agencies. Any entrepreneur that can navigate the mountain of paperwork to start his or her business can win up to $5,000 in carbon credits from the Bureau of Land Management.

American Idle – An employment competition series created by former White House officials Austin Goolsbee and Timothy Geithner. The concept of the series: to find a job opportunity for the one of the tens of millions of America’s long-term unemployed. Winners are chosen by the viewers through telephone, web and text messaging based upon a competition to tell the most compelling tale of financial woe. Each season premieres with an audition or “try out” round, which is conducted in a series of “Obama shanty towns” throughout the U.S. The winner is awarded a 90-day contract for menial labor at the Federal Correctional Penitentiary in Yazoo City, Mississippi.

Image hat tip: Diogenes Sarcastica.


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